i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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