my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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