i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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