She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
