Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
