I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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