where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
