Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
handjob tips. give me some.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm sobbing to NWA
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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