Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
