how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
