Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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