My nipple is on Facebook.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
