Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
