She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
