now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
