i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
