At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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