cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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