i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
