i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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