so that wasnt chicken after all
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
