Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just high enough for therapy.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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