she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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