My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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