is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
