you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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