It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
