Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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