i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
