I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
