Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Still dying that you shit outside
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
