Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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