I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
