Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
