I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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