but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so let's talk penis.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
