Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
