My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
