I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
