On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
