So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
