Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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