You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
