a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im holly from the hills drunk
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
