whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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