is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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