Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
