new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
