2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
