the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
