O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
