If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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