So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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