Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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