They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
