I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
