Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize