I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
