apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh god it's open bar.
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