Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just invented taco cereal.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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