i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
