What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize