we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
