So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
